Just a quick warning.

I was approached by two decent looking Thai ladies and they asked me to answer some holiday questions. I thought, I have nothing else to do. Then they gave me a crappy ticket to open, guess what "I won"

(the questionnaire i think was just an excuse to win you a prize)

It made out i won free food and 500 dollars or something like that.

I hardly paid any notice, and thought anyway I'll move on.

The girl said to claim my prize i have to sit though a 30 minute introduction about a new company they were starting.

Then as i spoke to the girl, she was doing her magic, just generally being cute and paying me lots of attention, massaging my male ego.

She explained to me how much she gets for roping a guy in, so i thought i would take her hook, 1. to humour them 2. to get my ego further massaged. 3. because i had nothing to do. and 4. If it was a dodgy con attempt, then i would get some excitment to brighten up my day.

In the taxi she was shocked to discover i was under 27, so after 10 minutes of practising my new birthdate together, we were back on track. (otherwise i wouldnt qualify for her payout)

We jumped in a taxi and headed for jontiem, a new world opened up for me we went into a big building which had lots of regular looking farang walking around as though they were at work. Suddenly from holiday mode i seen a business like aspect of pattaya.

As I walked up the stairs i was taken to a make shift reception were i was excitely met by another receptionist that cross questioned my details.

By this time i was pretending to be really excited at getting my win payout, this build up is essential to get the drama when the non payment came.

Then i was met by a smarmy talking sales man. He was so nice i wanted to hit him, (joke) I can see through people like that, we're were also taken for FREE tea. He made it sound like an honour.

This is the point were I wouldnt stop talking and when he tried to interupt me, i just carried on, its his job to stay friends with me, he should work for his money. I figured if i am wasting his time he wont be ripping someone else off.

As he tried to start his sales pitch, i told him about the forum that i am admin of and i started to tell him how many connections i have through the forum. As the list went on, he sat back and i could see that he give up.

When he found out the forum was free, he started saying, what a nice bunch you all are, i think he was having massive second thoughts about robbing me, a forum member can be so damaging to these peoples schemes. All interest was dropped as his miserable manager walked in, he said "you know what, the scheme isnt for you, but i will sort you out a free week holiday in Phuket" I said ok then give it me, I knew it would most likely be worthless, but i was sitting on the edge of my chair pretending to be in excitement and curious as what he was about to do. I was expecting a bit of bog roll with a "I owe you" written on it, but i was presented with a piece of paper of equal value.

This is when i left with a smile and thought how impressed i was at wasting his time.

I was driven back but i conveinently didnt know my street name and i got lost a few times down the one way street. I was enjoying the car ride.

So if you want a free excursion and a good laugh at someone else's expense, walk down beach road and talk to the ladies asking the questions. just make sure your strong willed, cuz these people must be good at conning, otherwise they wouldnt be there!

There is always a few that do fall for this crap, thanks for the warning though.

Absoulutely priceless report - thanks.

I'd often wondered what happened when u actually go with these people.

It's impossible 2 walk from soi 2/Walking St - without being harrassed at least 6 times by these half wits - sometimes, if it's a guy, you can tell he must be a Ladyboy at night, due to his body shape.

After about 3 weeks I got so fed up - I started 2 play games with the saleperson - when she/he asked my name I stated "my name is Bond, James Bond"

Most of them know who James Bond is but they still believe me because I've got a good deadpan face and am expert at bullshitting - when they asked my address, I gave it as the Areca Lodge, room no 007

This worked as one week later they were all leaving me alone!

I was stopped no less than 4 times in one day last trip! On a scooter 2 farang girls pulled up & come out with the usual " are you on holiday" "I replied do you have a work permit to sell timeshare?" & "go home & get a proper job" Then they drove off giving me the finger.

Very annoying these touts!

lol - nice one

There is an Indian guy who drives around on a scooter - he asked me the same "r u on holiday" - I replied "no, I live here" - he then just drove off without saying a word!

Dudebrah's story was pretty funny, on opening the ticket and alledgelly winning, they got really excited for him and said attentively "wow you won" he paused as he contained his excitement and he quickly thrust the ticket up in the air and exclaimed excitedly " I WON I WON" and ran away with his arm in the air still shouting it.

I would have loved to seen the faces of the thais!!

Best way to get the f****** to leave you alone is to just say that you live there. But if you're wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt and flip flops then they might not believe you lol

I have had a couple of indians come up to me on a motorcycle a couple of times asking me if i speak English and whether I am a tourist or expat. I just reply by saying "No sorry me no speak English". I guess they get the point as they leave me alone after that.

never taken the slightest interest in the feckers.
Anyone I haven't initatied contact with myselt wants my personal details they can go spin.
Feel a bit sorry for the girls though as they on commision to sucker you in.

Still i feel I already do my bit to support cute thai women

No need to be rude to anyone especially if they are not rude to you.

These touts are low life IMO bottom of the food chain to conning you out of money, so if someone is trying to scam me then I will react accordingly

It is a blessing being able to use and understand ASL. I'm mostly deaf anyway so can get away with it. They have no idea. Works well.