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The Kid Kabugle

Buying drinks for fellow mongers

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The Kid Kabugle

OK, so where I come from (UK/Ireland) if you're talking to someone in a bar, you might offer them a drink, whether you already know them or not it's generally expected (and largely common practice) that they buy you one back.

 

It's like saying "I'm enjoying your company have a drink with me" 

(here in Pattaya I'm obviously talking about fellow farang, none of us are stupid enough to expect it from a lady)

 

I've done that with 3 guys in the last 2 days (a German, a Fin and an Aussie) in various bars around Pattaya. None of them got me a drink back.

 

Am I wrong or when someone accepts one or more drinks from you and doesn't buy you one back is it like saying 'fuck you'?

 

I was drinking with 2 Americans yesterday and we were taking turns to buy each other drinks in rounds. Is that not normal? 

 

How come some blokes just drink up the beer you bought them then buy another only for themselves? Or they just fuck off to another bar?

 

Is there some cultural difference I’m not aware of? Or is there just less common courtesy these days?

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bazzz

Yep I agree. Finish the round. Pisses me off when that happens.

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Dazza118

I think a lot of people in Pattaya are socially inept.

They aren't like you're average joe back home and probably don't interact with to many people back home so aren't aware of simple bar etiquette :wink:

Either that or they are purposely mugging you off.

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Joethescot

I would never dream of taking a drink off someone and not returning the favour be it at home or in Pattaya. 

These people must be very brazen to do this. If your perhaps just having one or two before heading to someplace else and someone offers you a drink decline and tell them why. 

Surely it’s just good manners to buy back or decline a drink. 

Joe

Edited by Joethescot

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ace123

At home i shout back.. And if its a friend i went to pattaya with. Otherwise no. 

I am on a budget.  I wouldnt say full cheap charly as i drink out and not from 7/11 . However i am not spending the kind of money some guys spend on drinks in a night as i simply don't have alot to spend

So I tend to say no to drinks from other people to avoid shouts.. Then some guys just buy them anyway..  

Also sometimes you get a drink when a guy just shouts the whole bar or table of 10+  

I am not getting the next round in that scenrio as i know a fair few wont come back. 

Especially bar managers jumping in on rounds and playing games and doing anything to get that bill up.. Not for me..  

Its not out of lack of respect to me.. ITs the fact that drinks cost more in this town then my home country now.. Your drinking everyday so it adds up.. And constantly shouting drinks is a good way to pay for 60 drinks in a night and only get to drink 15

 

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BlooBell

The place of full of social misfits.

If someone buys you a beer, you offer them one back. End of story.

I've always thought buying rounds was pointless in Patts given the bin system. Just buy your own IMO. I appreciate, this was more of gesture, OP.

It sounds miserable (and I'm genuinely not) but I tend to avoid conversations with Farrangs in Patts. Everyone seems to have a story to tell and I'm just not interested.

Saying that, twice I've shared a few drinks with a fellow monger. An Irish 1st night newbie to whom I showed the ropes and an Auzzie who sat next to me in a bar and asked if he could borrow a smoke until one of the girls came back from 7/11 with his. Both were good lads.

Edited by BlooBell

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drzoom

If someone gets me a drink, i would always return the favour. wouldn't sit right with me not doing so. At Toy Box someone rung the bell. First time its happened at a bar i've been in. After i went up and thanked them, asked them if i could get them a drink. They said no thanks and rung the bell again :) .

Edited by drzoom

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Swineman

Never accept a drink, never buy another a drink.  It avoids the confusing thought in their mind that I may want to socialise with them , or indeed anyone  else i may meet here. I'm  Not here for that kind of interaction.

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robert

If I offered a drink, I would not expect one back, however if someone bought me a drink I would offer one back.

Ringing the bell is a whole different thing and I would not return the favor, unless I was with a bunch of friends  

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Zeb

I just don't want to be in a shout or have someone buy me a drink. Well in some cases anyway

It sets up an obligation I don't necessarily want or need.

Those 'Imposing' a shout sometimes don't understand this, be aware of it, or even care that others want nothing to do with being roped in to multiple drinks with maybe a stranger.

'Shouts' IMHO should relate to close mates etc.

If someone 'imposes' a drink on someone - a stranger - up to them, but that doesn't necessarily impose an obligation to buy one back.

Edited by Zeb

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Decrue

I only get into rounds with friends or people I know, I always buy someone a drink if I accepted theirs

Don't really accept drinks off strangers and if I offered one, I wouldn't expect one back

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LOTTELLEE WINNA
1 hour ago, Joethescot said:

I would never dream of taking a drink off someone and not returning the favour be it at home or in Pattaya. 

These people must be very brazen to do this. If your perhaps just having one or two before heading to someplace else and someone offers you a drink decline and tell them why. 

Surely it’s just good manners to buy back or decline a drink. 

Joe

Agree. Although we buy someone a drink not absolutely expecting one bought back, it is just common courtesy to return the favor. There are though done real tight ass dudes out here in LoS.

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renovator

Good thread.

Last couple days, bought drinks for couple blokes,no problem,,drinks keep flowing.

Interesting as can't ever remember it happening.

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tez4life

Cheap Charlie cunts

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hggcraig

People are ignorant and selfish.

If someone bought me a drink I'd try to refuse first as I don't drink alcohol and like to buy my own drinks but if they did I'd definitely buy them one back.

Like many people have said, lots of people in Pattaya are on the spectrum.

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Scuba+

its generally accepted here you buy your drink only, we all have separate bins and it works well that way, don't complicate it.

 

If you buy someone a drink and are waiting for one back you might as well not bother

 

 

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jocky king

I buys few BM a drink but I don’t expect a return as I’m a non drinker .. Also I don’t stay for another drink , I go somewhere else  . I just be thankful coz I don’t drink that why I can afford to buy a drinker a drink .. possibly once or twice a day won’t put a big hole in my pocket but get a good respect from them .

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bobSL1

OP you are correct you finally met a few real cheap charlies, the ones the girls avoid.

 

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MrJ200

I would always buy one in return whether it is in pattaya or home. 

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GorGuy

Different culture.

In your home town you probably have to go up to the bar and pay for a drink.

Rather than all of you going up to the bar to get one drink, one person would go up and get the drinks for the table.

In Pattaya, you do not have to go up to the bar, you are served your drink at the table and you have your own bin to pay. This means there is no need whatsoever to start buying other people in the group drinks or rounds to big note yourself as the alpha male. Just order your drink and others will order their own drinks.

To buy someone a drink expecting one back, when you do not even have to go to the bar is like a fake gift. I give you a gift of a drink, but you better give me a gift back. If it is not a gift, no need to do it in the first place.

In my home town if I am going up to the bar, I will of course ask who else wants a drink and get a round in, so that only one of us has to wait at the bar. In Pattaya, it is fine for the whole table to order drinks without getting up and going to the bar, and the bill can be placed separately into each persons individual bin.

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Ru4Real
47 minutes ago, GorGuy said:

This means there is no need whatsoever to start buying other people in the group drinks or rounds to big note yourself as the alpha male.

Cultural difference indeed; nothing to do with being alpha, it's the social aspect.

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Trevor

Yes it is common courtesy to offer to return a drink bought for you.

That said unless I’m with people I know I very rarely accept or offer drinks in Pattaya.....getting  involved in ‘rounds’ with strangers doesn’t appeal.

Edited by Trevor

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themelonman

The full range of responses is on display here. Clearly no consensus among farangs, and nor should one be expected. 

Personally, I’ll only get involved with “rounds” with friends I am confident that I’m likely to gather with again in the future. So we can pick up any unevenness next time, without being constrained by the idea of breaking even each time. 

 

As well observed above, the uk style “round” is much more about avoiding queuing at the bar, less about places where there is table service. In those cases, paying for the table sometimes does feel more like a power play -to me - though I appreciate it’s just as often standard generosity. 

... hm, and here’s the point maybe. 

Someone paying for the table from the table is just being magnanimous  - because it makes them feel good. 

Someone fetching the round in when they go to the bar is doing you a favour so maybe deserves it repaid. 

 

And here in LOS, that distinction is blurred - AND we’ve got lots of nationalities and social classes mingling in an environment that’s foreign to all. 

 

So anyway, if I am offered a drink, I’ll accept it in good faith from a punter in holiday who wants to thank me for my company - but will not let that gift hold me hostage to the bar if I’m in the mood to move on. 

And i’d do the same for others in reverse. I only give away what I’m prepared to give away. Strangers owe me no obligations. 

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Pabloypablo

I wasn't offered a drink while I was in Patts but I most assuredly would not want one from a fellow farang unless we were in deep discussions... 

Simple reasoning:  If I am with a girl, then why are you getting in my grill?  If I am alone, maybe I am trying to finish my drink and get the hell out of that bar and find the next one because this one didn't have the girl I was looking for.

Buying a reciprocal drink means that I am also expected to stay while I finish the one you just bought for me that I didn't want and then wait for the waitress to get him another drink and then pay and then wait till he finishes or at least gets it half way down.....

Seems like if I am on a mission to get laid, I don't need that extra time sink, no matter how awesome the complete stranger's life history is.

So it doesn't have to be about the cheap Charlie.  It has to do with being a predator on the hunt, and not wanting a distraction.

How dare you assume I am in Patts for 6 months?  Maybe I am there only 4 days and want every minute to count.

 

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javasumatra

There's a couple of bar owners that might buy me a drink and I'll buy one back but generally I don't really want to interact with other farang and will politely decline the offer. I'm not rude and have never looked for or had hassle in Thailand, I'm just not interested in listening to other people's Bullshit.

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